Coffee Conversations.

”Can I ask you something?”

If you could spend a week anywhere in fiction, where would you go? Not to live there forever, that’s an entirely different question. Just a holiday. Seven glorious days with no responsibilities, excellent food, beautiful scenery and no emails.

At first, I thought this would be an easy prompt to answer. But then, I realised fiction has given us an unreasonable number of excellent holiday destinations.

I considered the Shire. Rolling hills. Cozy little houses. Long walks. Second breakfast.

SECOND BREAKFAST.

Frankly, the Hobbits had already made a compelling case. But there’s always the slight possibility that someone will appear at your door and announce that the fact of Middle Earth depends on you. And, I am so sorry… But I am on holiday. I specifically put ”do not disturb” on my out-of-office reply.

Then I considered Stars Hollow. Coffee, books, autumn leaves… A charming little town where there’s apparently a festival each weekend. Lovely. Although I suspect I’d arrive on Monday and by Thursday, Taylor would somehow have put me in charge of decorating the gazebo.

So that was out.

Animal Crossing and its islands was tempting too. I would spend my days fishing, collecting seashells, decorating my house, chat with all the adorable neighbours. Plant the flowers. It sounds incredibly relaxing. Until you remember that within approximately fifteen minutes of arriving, a raccoon gives you a mortgage. Nope.

And then, it came to me. Of course!

Hogwarts!

But, before anyone gets excited, I have conditions. Quite a few, really. So let’s talk about this:

I want Hogwarts: The Quiet Year.

I would spend a week at Hogwarts. But I need to be clear about something. I want to visit during one of the years that somehow never made it into the books. A completely uneventful year. Nobody is trying to kill anyone. There is nothing sinister hiding beneath the school. No escaped prisoners, no mysterious voices coming from the pipes in the walls, no giant snakes, no tournaments, no dark wizards, no enchanted objects trying to ruin my life. Nothing. I want Hogwarts during the year when the biggest scandal was somebody cheating on their Herbology homework. Surely, there must have been one!

The Accommodation.

First of all. It’s a castle. A CASTLE. Four poster beds, huge windows, stone corridors, cozy common rooms, armchairs you could disappear into with a book. Rain tapping against the windows while you are warm inside. I am already packing. Admittedly, there are ghosts, but as long as they respect quiet hours, I think it’s already. So… Accommdation: ★★★★★

The Food.

This might actually be the deciding factor. You walk into the Great Hall, you sit down and food appears. That’s the system. No cooking, no meal planning, no opening the fridge six times hoping something new has appeared there. Breakfast would be especially dangerous. Because if I am on holiday and breakfast just appears, I am embracing my inner Hobbit. Toast? Yes. Eggs? Absolutely. Pastries? Obviously. Another cup of coffee? Of course! So… Food: ★★★★★

The Castle.

I’d spend an embarrassing amount of time simply wandering about. No destination, no itinerary. Just exploring the secret passages, the moving staircases, the hidden rooms and the talking portraits. I could live there for years and still discover something new. Although the moving stairs concern me slightly.

Hogsmead.

Obviously, I am going shopping. I don’t know what I will be buying, that’s irrelevant. But as I am on holiday there, I will browse through the little shops, buy sweets I don’t need, purchase something magical because it looked cute, probably buy another mug.

The Evenings Would Be the Best Part.

And this, I think, is why Hogwarts ultimately wins for me. Not the magic or the broomsticks. Not the endless food. It’s the atmosphere. Imagine returning to the castle after a cold afternoon in Hogsmeade. Outside, it’s getting dark. The windows glow warmly, you walk through the enormous wooden doors and hear conversations echoing through the corridors. Eventually, you find your way back to the common room. There’s a fire burning, someone playing chess, someone reading and you curl up in an armchair. And for once… There’s nowhere else you need to be. I think that’s the fictional holiday I’d choose. A little adventure during the day, a little magic around every corner, and somewhere cozy to return to at night.

Although, I’d still insist on receiving written confirmation before travelling that Voldemort is unavailable that week. I am flexible about many things, but not that one!

The funny thing is…

When I first thought about this question, I assumed I’d choose a fictional world because it would be exciting. Bit perhaps, that’s not quite it.

I’d choose Hogwarts because there’s something comforting about returning to a place you’ve only ever visited through stories. That’s one of the lovely things about books and films. They give us places that don’t exist and yet, we miss them.

We remember their rooms, the streets, the forests, the little shops…

We know what it feels like to arrive there even though we never actually have. Maybe that’s its own kind of magic. And perhaps that’s why, every now and then, opening an old favourite book can feel surprisingly similar to going home.

Even if home happens to have moving staircases.