Have a Coffee with Me.

December 17th.

It’s been a good while since the last time I sat down to write to you… I cannot remember when the last time was, actually… Either my memory is failing me, or I am getting old… But, let’s have a coffee. Come, sit. Let’s talk.

It’s only some days before the end of this year. 2025. And I want this year to be over already… It was not a kind year. Not entirely, anyway. There were some good moments, some happy moments, some memories made along the way… But, the end of it has been hectic, tiring and full of pain.

On Christmas day, it will be four months since my father’s passing… From all the days in the calendar, it had to be Christmas… 2025 brought me the worst of all pains. It took away someone that meant the world to me. Someone I never thought I would lose that early in my life… This kind of grief I had to endure, and still going through in waves, is not the kind one that is just 34 years old should know….

Yes, we were prepared for that death in the family. Or as much as someone can be, anyway. It happened, though, and it happened in 20 minutes after I said goodnight to my father that day. I hugged my mother, kissed him and left. Just to get called back 20 minutes later… The days that followed were the most difficult with the funeral topping it all up…

A month later, during a beautiful Thursday, one of our dogs passed away… Suddenly. Cancer… Just like my father…. Snoopy was mostly my father’s dog. He loved the rest of us, loved my mother a lot. The last couple of months, he had been living with us and over the time, he turned out to be one of favourite companions. I studied, he sat by my side on a little pouf. I read my book, he sat on my lap and slept there, listening to me. I slept, he slept next to me… And then, just like that, he was gone…

And this is how life changed me… This is how 2025 is the year I hate the most…. And with Christmas coming close with each day, I lose my mood, my appetite, my smile… It will be the first without dad. And without Snoopy. The first Christmas I will dislike. The first Christmas I will not wake up, playing all the jolly tunes…

So…we had a coffee together. And now you know why I have been silent and away…. Thank you for being here, though.